> I have a boyfriend who grew up with me.
>
> His name is Jin.
>
> I always though t of him as a friend until last year, when we
> went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him.
>
> Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for 
him.
>
> And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in 
different
> ways.
>
> I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so 
many
> other girls.
>
> To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another 
girl?
>
> "Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?" I asked.
>
> "I can't"
>
> "Why? You need to study at home?" I felt disappointment grabbing me.
>
> "No? I am going to meet a friend?"
>
> He was always like that.
>
> He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing.
>
> To him, I was just a girlfriend.
>
> The word 'love' only came out from my mouth.
>
> Since I knew him, I had never heard him say 'I love you' before.
>
> To us, there weren't any anniversaries at all.
>
> He didn't say anything from the first day and it continued till 100
> days?200days?
>
> Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll,
> everyday, without fail. I don't know why?
>
> Then one day?
>
> Me: Um, Jin, I ?
>
> Jin: What?don't drag, just say..
>
> Me: I love you.
>
> Jin: ??you?.um, just take this doll and go home.
>
> That was how he ignored my 'three words' and handed me the doll.
>
> Then he disappeared, like he was running away.
>
> The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one.
> There were many?
>
> Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday.
>
> When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him,
> and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call.
>
> But? lunch passed, dinner passed? and soon the sky was
> dark? he still didn't call.
>
> It w as already tiring to look at the phone anymore.
>
> Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me
> and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house.
>
> Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
>
> Me: Jin?
>
> Jin: Here?take this?
>
> Again, he handed me a little doll.
>
> Me: What's this?
>
> Jin: I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it
> to you now. I'm going home now, bye.
>
> Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
>
> Jin: Today? Huh?
>
> I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday.
>
> He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.
>
> Then I shouted?
>
> "Wait?"
>
> Jin: You have something to say?
>
> Me: Tell me, tell me you love me?
>
> Jin: What?!
>
> Me: Tell me
>
> I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him.
>
> But he just said simple cold words and left.
>
> "I don't want to say?that I love someone so easily, if you
> are desperate to hear it, then find someone else."
>
> That was what he said. Then he ran off.
>
> My legs felt numb?and I collapsed to the ground. He
> didn't want to say it easily?
>
> How could he?.
>
> I felt that?
>
> Maybe he is not the right guy for me?
>
> After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying.
>
> He didn't call me, although I was waiting.
>
> He just continued handing me a little doll every morning
> outside my house.
>
> That's how those dolls piled up in my room? everyday
>
> After a month, I got myself together and went to school.
>
> But what made the pain resurface was that? I saw him on
> a street?with another girl?
>
> He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed
> me?as he touched the doll?
>
> I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my
> room, and tears fell?
>
> Why did he gave these to me?
>
> Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls?
>
> In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around.
>
> Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him.
>
> He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house.
>
> I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop.
>
> I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him,
> that? it's going to end.
>
> Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
>
> Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
>
> I couldn't help hating him, acting like nothing had happen
> and joking around.
>
> Soon, he held out the doll as usual?
>
> Me: I don't need it.
>
> Jin: What?.why?
>
> I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
>
> Me: I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore!! I don't
> want to see a person like you again!
>
> I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike
> other days, his eyes very shaking.
>
> "I'm sorry" He apologized in a tiny voice.
>
> He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll?
>
> Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just
> throw it away!!!
>
> But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll.
>
> Then?
>
> Honk Honk
>
> With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
>
> "Jin! Move! Move away!" I shouted?
>
> But he didn't hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
>
> "Jin, move!"
>
> HONK!!
>
> "Boom!" That sound, so terrifying.
>
> That's how he went away from me.
>
> That's how he went away without even opening his eyes to
> say one word to me.
>
> After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness
> and the sadness of losing him?
>
> And after spending two months like a crazy person?
> I took out the dolls.
>
> Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we
> started going out.
>
> I remembered the days I spent with him and started to
> count the days? when we were in love?
>
> "One?two? three?"
>
> That was how? I started to count the dolls?
>
> "Four hundred and eighty four? four hundred and eighty five?"
>
> It all ended with 485 dolls.
>
> I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms.
>
> I hugged it tightly, then suddenly?
>
> "I love you, I love you"
>
> I dropped the dolls,shocked.
>
> "I?.lo..ve?you??"
>
> I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
>
> "I love you I love you"
>
> It can't be!
>
> I pressed all the dolls' stomach as it piled on the side.
>
> "I love you~"
>
> "I love you~"
>
> "I love you~"
>
> Those words came out non-stop.
>
> I?love you?
>
> Why didn't I realize that?
>
> That his heart was always by my side, protecting me.
>
> Why didn't I realize that he love me this much?
>
> I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it's stomach,
> that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road.
>
> It had his blood stain on it.
>
> The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much?
>
> "Jo?Do you know what today is? We've been loving each
> other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn't
> say I love you?. Um? since I was too shy? If you
> forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you?
> everyday? till I die? Jo? I love you?"
>
> The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked
> God, why do I only know about all this now?
>
> He can't be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute?
>
> For that? and for that reason? to me? it became
> courage? to live a beautiful life?
>
> END OF STORY.....