context-blog

UPCAT Tips :D

Sat, 19 Jun 2010 11:47:04 +0100

10 Ways to Outsmart the UPCAT

1. Prepare early.

The UPCAT is not a test you want to cram for. Although it might sound overwhelming, tiresome, or even boring to some, if you prepare as early as possible and commit to doing it right, then you will get excited when the UPCAT result is released. Do you see why? Always remember, “daig ng maagap ang masipag”.

2. Study your weak areas.

Take an assessment or diagnostic test on the subjects covered in the UPCAT (Mathematics, Science, Reading Comprehension and Language Proficiency). You need to know where you need help the most. Once you identify the areas that need improvement, it is time to review. Get help from your textbooks, classmates, teachers, as well as from online resources. Be brave to admit that you need help in those areas. Also, you need to allot a study time for this. Remember, you cannot buy a high score in the UPCAT, you must earn it! So review, review, review!

3. Practice using the UPCAT vocabulary in daily conversation.

The principle behind this is “learning by using (or doing)”. Make a deal with your friends or classmates to use new words in your conversation with them. It would be uncomfortable or difficult at first, but once you get the hang of it, you’ll be surprised how enriched your vocabulary has become! Continue doing this until you take the UPCAT.

4. Avoid using the calculator.

In the UPCAT, you are not allowed to use calculator in the computation parts. Too much dependence on the calculator might be detrimental in your preparation especially for the Math subtest of the UPCAT. Try doing the manual computations even in your school assignments. Practice your estimation and mental calculation. Aside from the fact that the UPCAT involves simple computations, you need to focus more on the analysis of worded problems. So please keep your calculator out of sight.

5. You read well? Good! But you need to study how the test maker in reading comprehension arrived at the correct answer.

This is about getting the BEST answer in the reading comprehension part. When answering this portion of the UPCAT, you need to eliminate your bias, your belief, or your opinion. What matters most is how the test maker sees it. The test maker would include three wrong answers among the four choices, each of which has at least one word that is obviously wrong, or at least, can be proven wrong. So make it a habit of eliminating those three answers no matter how plausible they are. The best answer is the correct answer.

6. Do not underestimate the grammar part of the UPCAT.

Nowadays, students are accustomed to writing and reading (or even speaking) in the popular abbreviated text messages. The problem with this is they no longer recognize what is right or wrong in their grammar usage. That is the reason why most students now perform poorly in grammar and spelling tests. You can still avoid this grammar trap by not going with the flow. Write your text messages in complete sentences, correct spelling, and proper subject-verb agreement. Encourage your friends and text-mates to do the same. You can even correct them if they commit grammatical errors in their messages. Take this seriously because the rewards are enormous.

7. Assess your guessing abilities when you review.

You should know how the UPCAT is scored. The Review Masters League is a believer of “Guess, even if it is right minus wrong.” In the UPCAT, there is no penalty for leaving a question blank, but an incorrect answer costs you ¼ of a point. Some students guess really well. But you need to understand that these students have mastered the art of smart guessing as compared to those who guess poorly and used to “wild guessing”. It is better if you know whether you are a good strategist in guessing the correct answer or not. So while reviewing for the UPCAT, assess your guessing skill so that you will be more confident when you need to guess in the actual test.

8. Pick the review materials written by authentic UPCAT experts.

I have written a lot of test questions (in Geometry, by the way) for my own materials as well as for Review Masters League. My colleagues in Review Masters are also expert test constructors in their respective fields. Our being alumni (so, we had taken the UPCAT a few years back) and former faculty members of the University made us more aware on the style and the coverage of the UPCAT questions. We also get feedbacks from previous UPCAT takers so more or less we get to construct questions close to the real thing. If you happen to purchase an UPCAT reviewer from a bookstore, then consider who the authors are.

9. Review relentlessly.

Diligence, persistence, determination. They all mean one thing – “If you want it, then get it… by all means!” It is not the number of review materials you have on your study table. It is not your academic ranking in your batch. It is not the school where you study. It is not the review center where you attend review classes. It is not the online resources you bookmarked. It is all about you – how you discipline yourself to achieve your goal of passing the UPCAT. You should not compromise your study time for anything else less important – like watching movies, playing online games, chatting, malling, or even checking your Facebook account. These things should be put aside every time you are scheduled to study for the UPCAT. Do this consistently and you know that you are inching your way to the target. Go for goal!

10. Shake, rattle and roll in the UPCAT by applying what you’ve learned.

Taking the UPCAT is much like a one-on-one basketball do-or-die championship match – exhausting, nerve-racking, and requiring your extreme focus until the final buzzer sounds. The test proper is close to three and a half hours. So you need to endure the pressure, you need to be confident and overcome test anxiety, and you need to enjoy the gruesome mental exercise. Remember, in a competition, those who desire the most usually win. So you just apply whatever you learned in the review – not only the subject content but also the techniques and strategies in taking the UPCAT. If you follow numbers 1 to 9 above, then you are ready to rock!

Haha! Laugh! it can make you look a lot better :))

Fri, 07 May 2010 09:04:59 +0100

If good looks could kill, don’t look at me.
I don’t want to see you die.

------------------------------------------------------------

Erap to Loi: Wow ang bango mo ngayon ah! Anong gamit mong pabango?
Loi: Secret!!!
Erap: Secret? Di ba pinapahid yun sa kili-kili?

------------------------------------------------------------

Days are made special with a smile.
So smile at everyone, smile at everything...
Smile anywhere , smile anytime....
A friendly reminder from PHILIPPINE MENTAL HOSPITAL
.
------------------------------------------------------------

In a petshop, customer talks to a parrot.
CUSTOMER: hoy!!! Can you talk ha??? Bobo!!!
PARROT: yes I can!!!! Ikaw? Can you fly ha? Can you fly? Gago!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Bakit ba may mga taong manhid???
Sobrang sweet mo na nga akala mabait ka lang....
Text mo ng sweet messages iisipin forwarded quote lang....
Sabihin mong mahal mo sya akala nya joke lang…

------------------------------------------------------------

Reporter: Mr. President. How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Erap : 16 !!
Reporter: Why ?
Erap : Because the priest says: 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.

------------------------------------------------------------

Dati tuwang-tuwa ako kapag inaasar kita....
Tuwang-tuwa ako pag naiinis ka....
Tapos sabi mo…
Lalayo ka, ayaw mo nakong makita…
Sabi ko… “Huwag! Mahal na kita!”
Sabi mo… “Nangaasar ka ba?”

------------------------------------------------------------

Maglalaro si Erap sa milyon milyon na? Game ka na ba?
Kris: ilang litro meron ang coke litro?
Erap: ang dali dali nyan! liter C, liter O, liter K, and liter E. may mas mahirap ba dyan?

-------------------------------------------------------------

List of cartoon characters that are bad influences to us.
1. dora the explorer.- lakwatcherang negra
2. Blue’s clues - mahilig magkalat.
3. Winnie the pooh - mahilig sa matamis-diabetis
4. Spongebob Squarepants - katangahan at kabaklaan
5. kids next door - pagiging gago sa batang edad
6. Winx - kalandian at pagkailusyonada
Kaya piliing mabuti ang ipapanuod sa batang inyong kasama!!

---------------------------------------------------------------

Exec Sec Zamora: Sir, puwede bang palitan 'tong laptop ko?
Erap: Bakit?
Zamora: Masyadong mabigat, eh!
Erap: Ba't di ka mag-delete ng files para gumaan?

---------------------------------------------------------------

Hindi ba mahirap kapag may sakit ka?
Hindi ka makakain, hirap lumunok...
Tapos sasabihin pa ng nanay..
"sige na anak...kumain ka na..
kahit tatlong kutsara lang..."
Pagkain nga hirap ng lunukin...
kutsara pa kaya???

----------------------------------------------------------------

Jinggoy: dad bakit ganun?
Erap: bakit?
Jinggoy: tinext ko yung asawa ko na padating na ko
Erap: o ano ngayon?
Jinggoy: pag uwi ko may kasama syang lalaki sa kama
Erap: baka hindi natanggap yung txt mo.

----------------------------------------------------------------

“I admit marami na akong pinadapa!!!!
Pinagapang!!!! Nahulog sa kanal!!!!
Pinag-away!!!! Nasaktan!!!!
Pero anong magagawa ko???
Eh sa kayo ang naglalaway sa kin??? I’m sorry.”
-Red horse.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Why did Erap shoot his wife when he bought a house?
Because the contract reads: "Execute all 3 copies together with your wife..."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Sakit ba ulo mo dahil sa problema?
May gamot na!
TOGMORON 500!
Iun-TOGMORON sa pader ulo mo 500mg.
Tandaan TOG MO RON!
Kung di epektib, TOGMOPA 50!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Naramdaman mo na ba yung akala mo limot mo na sya?
Wala na. Tapos na lahat.
Tapos isang araw nagkita kayo,
ngumiti sya sayo. Nasabi mo na lang:
“ TANG’NA!!! MAHAL KO PA SYA!”

------------------------------------------------------------------

Mahal mo sya..
May mahal siyang iba..
One day nakita mo sya kasama ung mahal nya..
Just close your eyes and pray..
"Sana mamatay na ung hayop na un d nmn cla bagay..."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

”Papano tayo makakabuo kung hindi ako papatong sayo?”
-LEGO.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Kapag may umaway sa iyo...
Huwag ka iiyak.
Dahil di na tayo bata....
Dito ako para pagtanggol ka...
Kakalabanin ko sila....
Titirahin ko sila ng laser sword. “shing-shing!” tapos un “bogoom” patay sila!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Joke! Joke! Joke!

Fri, 07 May 2010 09:03:35 +0100

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"hindi ibig sabihing marami ng labi ang dumampi sa akin ay marumi no...
hindi ibig sabihing marami ng laway ang natikman ko ay wala na akong dangal..."
---kutsara

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ito ang message na sigurado ifo-forward mo:

"GAGALISIN ANG PUWET NG HULING MAKAKATANGGAP NITO"

yahooo!! Safe na ako... sori na lang sa mga walang load!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

HEADLINE
Dalawang matandang babae... nagjojogging sa plaza.. na-rape!!!

Kinabukasan...Plaza nagkagulo... nagkatraffic..

Dahil libo libong matanda ang ngayon ay nagjojogging!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wishing you a seductive and horny morning, licked by love and penetrated with heavenly graces. May all your problems be ejaculated before the climax of the day. Have a sexy day!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kadalasan, nakakatakot ang magmahal,
dahil nakakatakot masaktan, mahirap umasa,
nakakatakot ding mapaglaruan.
Pero di ba, mas nakakatakot kapag nalaman mo na kapatid mo pala si mahal?
at tatay mo si dagul?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nahuli ni lalaki ang asawa na ka- sex ang kapitbahay!!! Binaril yung kapitbahay, patay!
Wife: Grabe ka naman!!!! Kapag di mo binago ugali mo, mauubos ang mga kapitbahay natin!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The only people whom I greet "Good morning"
are those who are smart, cute and malakas ang sex appeal.
So, pano ba yan? E di good afternoon na lang sayo!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Man to wife on her birthday:
"You can have sex for an hour the way you want it."
Wife jumped up, kissed him and ran out of the house...
"Thank you! Thank you! I'll be back in an hour!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I keep on telling my friends about you, how you talk, how you laugh, how you've touched my life. Then, they asked,
"Saan ba makakahanap ng tulad nya?"
I answered, "Mandaluyong, loob, ward 5, kaliwa."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kung bola ka, at ako ang player, mashoshoot ba kita?
Hindi, kasi ngayon nga lang namimiss na kita eh!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sa buhay, hindi lahat nabibili o ibinibigay.
May gusto tayo na hindi nakukuha, may pangarap na hindi naaabot,
may hiling na hindi natutupad.
Pero kuntento na ako.
Bakit kamo?
Kasi, P6.25 na lang ang Tide, pinalaki pa!!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you believe in signs ..
in serendipity ..
in destiny ..
in soulmates ..
in love at first sight ..
in eternal love..
Malamang single ka for life!!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sabi nila, minsan, sa buhay natin, kailangan kang mamili kung yung taong mahal mo o mahal ka! Hello?! Hindi na uso yun ngayon, ang tanong, "Yummy ba sya?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time can heal all wounds.
Time can give you another chance.
Time can help you forget.
Time can let you move on.
Dati ang alam ko lang eh, “time is gold!” improving!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hindi ko alam kung bakit nagseselos ako kapag may ibang nagpapangiti at nagpapasaya sa 'yo.
Hindi naman siguro sa makasarili ako kundi natatakot lang ako na sa sobrang kasiyahan mo, lumobo ang sipon mo!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ERAP: anak, ilan ba ang diyos??
JINGGOY: dad, isa lang ang diyos. Bakit mo naitanong??
ERAP: eh bakit may extra joss??

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pratatatat!!! Kaboom!!! Kablaaam!!! Weewee!!! Wangwang!!! Pratatatat!!!
Sugod mga cute!!! Itext ang mga pangit!!! Yes sir!!!
Ito, tinext ko na yung isa, lider ata nila.

Banat pa! JOKES! :))

Wed, 05 May 2010 09:42:56 +0100

ngatz bhe...
muahhx...





ngongo, bumibili ng
GATSBY WAX!


====

titser: ang pangit naman ng name mo "conrado domingo" in short "Condom"
Pupil: ok lang po yun mam, kesa naman sa asawa nyo "Supremo Potenciano"
in short "SUPOT"

====

Isang araw sa tindahan:

Bata: tok tok tao poh
Tindera: ano yun?
Bata: nang naa mo load?
Tindera: naa!
Bata: pa-txt daw!!

====

Salawikain ng mga high school students

"aanhin mo pa ang 90 kung 75 na ang uso"

"its better to cheat than to repeat"

"No need to review kodigo will do"

"aanhin mo pa ang libro kung scholar ang katabi mo"

"ang hindi marunong lumingon pag exam... bagsak ang kalalabasan"

====

A kid staring in a pangit na tambay. D tambay got angry and shouted:

"Hoy bata!! ngano lain man ka makatan-aw!?"

Kid: ikaw, ngano lain man kau ka tan-awon?

====

taga-bukid na anak ug tatay nagsakay sa elevator..

Anak: tay, mahal guro pasahe ani noh? mangutana daw tah tagpila tay?
Tatay: paghilom uy! ayaw dad'a imong pagkaignorante diri...
tagad sah tah sa konduktor kng tagaan na tag-ticket!!

====

Girl: alam m para kang bisyo
Boy: (kilig) dahil hindi mo ako maiwasan..
Girl: hindi noh..

Dahil sinisira mo buhay ko!!!

====

Nilapitan kita pero nilayuan mo ako


Kinausap kita pero tinitigan mo lang ako

hinabot kita pero tinakbuhan mo ako

ganya ba talaga

kayong mga

"unggoy"

(peace)

====
Mga kasabihan

"ang batang masipag pag laki pagod"

"ang pera madaling mawala pag hindi pinaghirapan. pero mas madaling
mawala pag sinugal mo"

"black is beauty but too much is charcoal"

"dont feed the chicken pag ang alaga mo mga bibe"

"d bale ng manakawan ng 10 beses wag lang masunugan pero mas mabuti
masunugan kesa nakawan ka ng halik ni diego"

"mas mukhang bao ang ulo kalbo na may konting buhok kesa sa bao ng puno namin."

"dont judge the book by its cover maliban na lang kung ang libro ay
puro cover hanggang sa loob"

"ang pagtulog ay pampatangkad pero paano ka tatangkad kung tuwing
umaga at tanghali gigisingin ka"

====

Driver: yung mga pangit pwede ng bumaba. may checkpoint kasi sa unahahan.
pabor lang.

Pasahero: tapos kuya? sino na pong magddrive ngayun?

====

sabi ng mga ninuno pag ang isang tao daw binati mo ng "hi" at sa loob
ng 5 seconds na walang reply...

"maitim daw ang singit"



masubukan nga...


"HI"

====

A very tragic Story :(

Wed, 05 May 2010 04:44:41 +0100

> I have a boyfriend who grew up with me.
>
> His name is Jin.
>
> I always though t of him as a friend until last year, when we
> went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him.
>
> Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for
him.
>
> And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in
different
> ways.
>
> I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so
many
> other girls.
>
> To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another
girl?
>
> "Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?" I asked.
>
> "I can't"
>
> "Why? You need to study at home?" I felt disappointment grabbing me.
>
> "No? I am going to meet a friend?"
>
> He was always like that.
>
> He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing.
>
> To him, I was just a girlfriend.
>
> The word 'love' only came out from my mouth.
>
> Since I knew him, I had never heard him say 'I love you' before.
>
> To us, there weren't any anniversaries at all.
>
> He didn't say anything from the first day and it continued till 100
> days?200days?
>
> Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll,
> everyday, without fail. I don't know why?
>
> Then one day?
>
> Me: Um, Jin, I ?
>
> Jin: What?don't drag, just say..
>
> Me: I love you.
>
> Jin: ??you?.um, just take this doll and go home.
>
> That was how he ignored my 'three words' and handed me the doll.
>
> Then he disappeared, like he was running away.
>
> The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one.
> There were many?
>
> Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday.
>
> When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him,
> and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call.
>
> But? lunch passed, dinner passed? and soon the sky was
> dark? he still didn't call.
>
> It w as already tiring to look at the phone anymore.
>
> Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me
> and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house.
>
> Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
>
> Me: Jin?
>
> Jin: Here?take this?
>
> Again, he handed me a little doll.
>
> Me: What's this?
>
> Jin: I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it
> to you now. I'm going home now, bye.
>
> Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
>
> Jin: Today? Huh?
>
> I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday.
>
> He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.
>
> Then I shouted?
>
> "Wait?"
>
> Jin: You have something to say?
>
> Me: Tell me, tell me you love me?
>
> Jin: What?!
>
> Me: Tell me
>
> I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him.
>
> But he just said simple cold words and left.
>
> "I don't want to say?that I love someone so easily, if you
> are desperate to hear it, then find someone else."
>
> That was what he said. Then he ran off.
>
> My legs felt numb?and I collapsed to the ground. He
> didn't want to say it easily?
>
> How could he?.
>
> I felt that?
>
> Maybe he is not the right guy for me?
>
> After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying.
>
> He didn't call me, although I was waiting.
>
> He just continued handing me a little doll every morning
> outside my house.
>
> That's how those dolls piled up in my room? everyday
>
> After a month, I got myself together and went to school.
>
> But what made the pain resurface was that? I saw him on
> a street?with another girl?
>
> He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed
> me?as he touched the doll?
>
> I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my
> room, and tears fell?
>
> Why did he gave these to me?
>
> Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls?
>
> In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around.
>
> Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him.
>
> He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house.
>
> I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop.
>
> I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him,
> that? it's going to end.
>
> Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
>
> Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
>
> I couldn't help hating him, acting like nothing had happen
> and joking around.
>
> Soon, he held out the doll as usual?
>
> Me: I don't need it.
>
> Jin: What?.why?
>
> I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
>
> Me: I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore!! I don't
> want to see a person like you again!
>
> I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike
> other days, his eyes very shaking.
>
> "I'm sorry" He apologized in a tiny voice.
>
> He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll?
>
> Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just
> throw it away!!!
>
> But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll.
>
> Then?
>
> Honk Honk
>
> With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
>
> "Jin! Move! Move away!" I shouted?
>
> But he didn't hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
>
> "Jin, move!"
>
> HONK!!
>
> "Boom!" That sound, so terrifying.
>
> That's how he went away from me.
>
> That's how he went away without even opening his eyes to
> say one word to me.
>
> After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness
> and the sadness of losing him?
>
> And after spending two months like a crazy person?
> I took out the dolls.
>
> Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we
> started going out.
>
> I remembered the days I spent with him and started to
> count the days? when we were in love?
>
> "One?two? three?"
>
> That was how? I started to count the dolls?
>
> "Four hundred and eighty four? four hundred and eighty five?"
>
> It all ended with 485 dolls.
>
> I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms.
>
> I hugged it tightly, then suddenly?
>
> "I love you, I love you"
>
> I dropped the dolls,shocked.
>
> "I?.lo..ve?you??"
>
> I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
>
> "I love you I love you"
>
> It can't be!
>
> I pressed all the dolls' stomach as it piled on the side.
>
> "I love you~"
>
> "I love you~"
>
> "I love you~"
>
> Those words came out non-stop.
>
> I?love you?
>
> Why didn't I realize that?
>
> That his heart was always by my side, protecting me.
>
> Why didn't I realize that he love me this much?
>
> I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it's stomach,
> that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road.
>
> It had his blood stain on it.
>
> The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much?
>
> "Jo?Do you know what today is? We've been loving each
> other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn't
> say I love you?. Um? since I was too shy? If you
> forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you?
> everyday? till I die? Jo? I love you?"
>
> The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked
> God, why do I only know about all this now?
>
> He can't be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute?
>
> For that? and for that reason? to me? it became
> courage? to live a beautiful life?
>
> END OF STORY.....

Funny Text Messages xD

Mon, 03 May 2010 02:10:34 +0100

=======

Boy: Miss may titulo ka ba?
Girl: wala bakit?
Boy: tingin ko kasi pag-aari kita
Girl: how sweet? ilang pages ka ba?
Boy: (naconfuse) bakit?
Girl: ang mo kapal kasi!!!!

=======

sa buhay ko daming dumaan...
problema, pagsubok,kawalan...
"pero ng dumaan ka"
natawa ako kasi

pabango mo SURF!!! Wais ka talaga...

======

here's a secret code of Andal Ampatuan Jr which was decoded by NBI

X35 P33N I

H73N07 05 W, I

35V37d 3W d73H

Turn your phone upside down to read

======

Lord ingatan at ilayo sa disgrasya
ang Cute na nagbabasa nito at
sana kung magkita kami hindi siya
magbago at tanggapin niya na...

Mas Cute ako...

======

Which part of a man's body that

has no bone

full of veins

pumps liquid

and responsible for

making Love?

Ans:

Heart

But i love the way you think :)

======

Darating ang araw!!!!

anu hinahanap mo?

ung araw? bukas pa po yun.. matulog ka po muna.. :) gandang gabi

======

may dalawang magkapatid, si malaki at si maliit... sumulat si malaki sa kanyang tatay..

Dear Tatay,
ibili nyo po kame ng isang dosenang itlog at isang kilong baboy
ang inyong anak... malaki

inutusan ni malaki si maliit na ihatid ang sulat sa post office
habang naglalakad napaaway si maliit at ang sulat ay nagkapunit punit
binuo ang sulat sa pamamagitan ng tape ng mabasa ng ama

Dear Baboy,
ibili nyo po kami ng isang dosenang anak at isang
kilong tatay.
ang inyong itlog... malaki

======

Sad story of the day..

Nakita ni pedro ang mga nagkukumpulang tao
may naaksidente dahil sa kagustuhan makita ni pedro
ang namatay gumawa siya ng eksena para tumabi
ang mga tao..

"tumabi kayo.. thats my brother..."

nagsitabi ang mga tao hanggang makita ni pedro ang
naaksidente..

isang kawawa at duguang Unggoy... kawawa

=====

One day i saw you crying in the rain...
i came over you and you said...

"leave me alone!!! i want to be alone..."

i laugh and said,

"oh bakit? dadaan lang ako!!! pakialam ko sau!!!"

Cry :(

Mon, 03 May 2010 02:07:18 +0100

He was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary's School in Morris, Minnesota. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but Mark Eklund was one in a million. [He was] very neat in appearance but had that happy-to-be-alive attitude that made even his occasional mischieviousness delightful.

Mark talked incessantly. I had to remind him again and again that talking without permission was not acceptable. What impressed me so much, though, was his sincere response every time I had to correct him for misbehaving: "Thank you for correcting me, Sister!" I didn't know what to make of it at first, but before long I became accustomed to hearing it many times a day.

One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark talked once too often, and then I made a novice teacher's mistake. I looked at him and said, "If you say one more word, I am going to tape your mouth shut!"

It wasn't ten seconds later when Chuck blurted out, "Mark is talking again." I hadn't asked any of the students to help me watch Mark, but since I had stated the punishment in front of the class, I had to act on it.

I remember the scene as if it had occurred this morning. I walked to my desk, very deliberately opened my drawer and took out a roll of masking tape. Without saying a word, I proceeded to Mark's desk, tore off two pieces of tape and made a big X with them over his mouth. I then returned to the front of the room. As I glanced at Mark to see how he was doing, he winked at me. That did it! I started laughing. The class cheered as I walked back to Mark's desk, removed the tape and shrugged my shoulders. His first words were, "Thank you for correcting me, Sister."

At the end of the year I was asked to teach junior high math. The years flew by, and before I knew it Mark was in my classroom again. He was more handsome than ever and just as polite. Since he had to listen carefully to my instructions in the "new math," he did not talk as much in ninth grade as he had in the third.

One Friday, things just didn't feel right. We had worked hard on a new concept all week, and I sensed that the students were frowning, frustrated with themselves - and edgy with one another. I had to stop this crankiness before it got out of hand. So I asked them to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then I told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish the assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed me the papers. Charlie smiled. Mark said, "Thank you for teaching me, Sister. Have a good weekend."

That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and I listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday I gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" I heard whispered. "I never knew that meant anything to anyone!" "I didn't know others liked me so much!" No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. I never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another again.

That group of students moved on. Several years later, after I returned from vacation, my parents met me at the airport. As we were driving home, Mother asked me the usual questions about the trip - the weather, my experiences in general. There was a light lull in the conversation. Mother gave Dad a sideways glance and simply said, "Dad?" My father cleared his throat as he usually did before something important. "The Eklunds called last night," he began. "Really?" I said. "I haven't heard from them in years. I wonder how Mark is."

Dad responded quietly. "Mark was killed in Vietnam," he said. "The funeral is tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could attend." To this day I can still point to the exact spot on I-494 where Dad told me about Mark.

I had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. Mark looked so handsome, so mature. All I could think at that moment was, Mark, I would give all the masking tape in the world if only you would talk to me. The church was packed with Mark's friends. Chuck's sister sang "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." Why did it have to rain on the day of the funeral? It was difficult enough at the graveside. The pastor said the usual prayers, and the bugler played taps. One by one those who loved Mark took a last walk by the coffin and sprinkled it with holy water.

I was the last one to bless the coffin. As I stood there, one of the soldiers who had acted as pallbearer came up to me. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. I nodded as I continued to stare at the coffin. "Mark talked about you a lot," he said.

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates headed to Chuck's farmhouse for lunch. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting for me. "We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. I knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which I had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him. "Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

Mark's classmates started to gather around us. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put this in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said, without batting an eyelash. "I think we all saved our lists."

That's when I finally sat down and cried. I cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

100 Days Love Story

Mon, 03 May 2010 02:03:00 +0100

Romance Story

haha. ROFLOL xD

Mon, 03 May 2010 01:52:55 +0100

Isang gabi habang nanonood ako
tumabi sakin ang lola ko..

ang haba ng buhok itim na itim ng
damit parang malungkot at may
hawak na kutsilyo

kinabahan ako..

nagsalita siya..

sabi niya..

"apo, bagay ba sa akin ang EMO?"
====

Advice from dentist:

Treat your BF/GF like a toothbrush

Dont let anybody use it..

And change it every month...


====

Bakit ganun.. sa kama na lang ba lagi ang role
ko sa buhay mo.. each time na pagod ka im always
here para painitin ang malalamig mong gabi..

Hindi ba ako pedeng idisplay sa mga tao? kahit
minsan lang?


- Kumot(nagdradrama gustong maging Kurtina)

====

Lolo:Laro tayo.
Lola:ano?
Lolo:Kahit ano wag lang taguan
Lola:bakit naman?
Lola: because a girl like you is impossible to find

lupit ni lolo

====

Anak: nay galing ng titser ko.
Nay: bakit namn?
Anak: tinuruan kami ng kagandahang asal
Lola: e d marunong ka ng gumalang at mag-PO at OPO?
Anak:Natural! tanga ka Ba? hmmp...

====

An ambitious NURSE INTERN in a tertiary hospital
dialled canteen
and shouted: " get me a cup of coffee quickly!!!"

The voice from the other line said" "You fool!!!
youve dialled
the wrong extension! Do you know who you are talking to?
im the Chief nurse of this hospital, you idiot!!"

The intern shouted back " and you know who
are talking to you bitch?"

Chief Nurse: No!

Intern: Thank God!(hung up)

====

Bulag at duling magsusuntukan!!
Bulag: hayop ka duling!! lumabas ka dyan.. wag kang
magtago sa dilim!!
Duling: in your dreams!!! bakit ako lalabas eh
dalawa kayo!!!

====

Teacher: Lahat ng tanga dito sa klase tumayo

may isang batang tumayo

Teacher: bakit tanga ka ba?

bata: eh sir.. naaawa lang po ako sa inyo kasi
mayisa lang kayong nakatayo kaya sasamahan ko na lang
kayo para dalawa tayong tanga..

====

Titser: use "anyhow" en "anyone" in a sentence..

Pacman: hoy Pidro!! baki mo kinain ang "anyhow" na manok
na "anyone" ko dyan sa mesa para kay Jengkeh

====

Maid: mam si junjun nakalulon ng ipis!
Mam: ha nsaan si junjun
Maid: tulog po mam. pinainum ko agad ng Baygon!!
patay na siguro yung ipis

====
i mishu







- ngongong nakakita ng piso habang naglalakad sa kalye

====

Interesting Love Story

Mon, 03 May 2010 01:49:46 +0100

A boy and a girl were in love.

When the girl's father came to know
about their love, he did not like it at
all, and so began to protest about it.

Now it happened that the two lovers
decided to leave their homes for a happy
future.

The girl's father started searching for
the two lovers but could not find
them .

At last, he accepted their love and
asked them to come back home thru a

local newspaper. Her father said "If
you both come back I will allow you to marry the
guy you love, I accept that you loved
each other truly."

So in this way, their love won and they
returned home.

The couple next day went to town to shop
for the wedding dress. He was dressed
in a white shirt that day. While he was
crossing the road to the other side to
get some drinks for his wife, a car
came and hit him and he died on the spot..

The girl was devastated and lost her
senses. It was only after sometime that
she recovered from her shock.

The funeral and cremation was the very
next day because he had died horribly.

Two nights later, the girl's mother had
a dream in which she saw an old lady.
The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood
stains of the guy from her daughter's
dress as soon as possible. But her
mother ignored the dream.

The next night her father had the same
dream , he also ignored it. Then the
girl had the same dream the next night, she
woke up in fear and told her mother
about the dream. Her mother asked her
to wash the clothes with the blood
stains

immediately.

She washed the stains but some remained.
Next night she again had the same
dream. She again washed the stains but some
still remained. But again the next
night she had the same dream and this
time the old lady gave her a last
warning to wash the blood stain, or
else something terrible would happen.

This time the girl tried her best to
wash the stains, and the clothes
nearly tore, but some stains still remained.

She was very tired.

In the late evening the same day while
she was alone at home, someone knocked
on the door. When she opened the door
she saw the same old lady of her dream
standing at her door. She got very
scared and fainted.

The old lady woke her up... and gave her
a blue object, which shocked the girl.

She asked "What is this...?" The old
lady replied...

..
"Mr Clean! Dteregent"
"5pesos nlng per bar"
:)))))